Wanna know how i know youre gay
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And with orchestral flourishes, melancholy muses on love, war and peace – and lest we forget Chris Martin's goose-bump-igniting falsetto – the quartet's latest wordy-titled album doesn't seem hard-pressed to gay-down their rock.
Which means more of the same, but with a fresh, edgy sonic twist. How about... David: You know how I know that you're gay?
We Dance. Cross-pollinating genres and morphing from a coffeehouse folkie to a pop princess to a dance-hall diva to a Southern belle, the Interlochen grad's sixth album culls a gentle country style, built on feather-light twang. All right, pops.
[They hug; Jay leaves]
Cal: You're gay now?
David: No, I'm not gay, I'm just celibate.
Cal: That sounds gay.
B+
HMO Approved
Duffy, "Rockferry"
No matter what, it's hard to ignore that this Welsh wooer sounds like an Amy Winehouse clone. Reuniting with her organic country-folk '70s sound, and ex-hubby producer Brian Ahern, the country legend's first solo album in five years oozes more life – even if several of the songs deal with death – than a puppy.
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The 40 Year Old Virgin2005
David:
You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal:
How?
David:
You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".
Cal:
You know how I know you're gay?
David:
How?
Cal:
I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once.
David:
You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal:
How?
David:
You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face".
Cal:
That's gay?
David:
[David loses second match] Goddamnit!
Cal:
[Shows screen shot of a Mortal Kombat video game] I'm ripping your head off right now.
Cal: How? David: You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face." Cal: That's gay? You like Coldplay."
Sure, we can't possibly ignore legions of swooning female fans and "straight" guy listeners, but that zinger from "40-Year-Old Virgin" couldn't be truer than true. When I came upon her, she was unattended
Jay:
No, no, that's my...
The 40 Year Old Virgin
Mooj:
[talking to a customer] This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma.
Jay:
What are you doing? You wanna just take it outside and just squash it?
Mooj:
Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a p*ssy you have, okay?
You just told me you're not sleeping with women anymore. Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. Martin's Slinky-ish voice strays from that orgasmic upper-register, relying on a lower, tad-unfamiliar style.
Though "Viva La Vida," their fourth album, is built on weighty statements – most glaringly on the genius set-closer "Death and All His Friends," which swells to a killer crescendo – the band momentarily returns to the famed romanticism of "Yellow." "Strawberry Swing" is a sweet-as-sugar break that practically bleeds the ambrosial summer fragrance: "It's such a perfect day … I wouldn't want to change a thing."
We'd pretty much have to agree.
My accent is a f***ing Brooklyn accent, okay? Like there's this, and then in a year it's like "Oh you know, I kinda wanna, ya know, get back out there but I think I like guys" and then there's the big, "Oh I'm, I'm a g-gay guy now". Cutting the fun factor are songs like "Love for a Child," a kid-eye view of divorce, and "Details in the Fabric," an everything's-all-right mantra that doesn't totally ignore his knack for wackiness (a static-y voice message hilariously punctuates the latter track: "You're an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea.").
David: You're gay for saying that. Ow. Dude, at least leave my torso alone.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".
Cal: You know how I know you're gay?
David: How?
Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sour dough bread once.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face."
Cal: That's gay?
[David loses second match and smokes a bowl; screen cuts to video game footage of Sub-Zero's fatality]
David: God damn it!
Cal: I'm ripping your head off right now.
Look... David: Arr.
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Hear Me Out
Coldplay, "Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends"
"Wanna know how I know you're gay?
I was born in Brooklyn. Do you see any f***ing turban here?