Gay hazing

Turning off the main road, we entered a damp, empty single-story parking structure. However, I had attended a conformist Christian high school where gay people were often looked down upon, so I was unfamiliar with these types of organizations or what they might have been able to offer me. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals mentioned in this essay.

Tanner Aiello’s writing explores his experience as the first openly gay member of his college fraternity.

Shivering, we reached the boardwalk and turned right, walking about two miles, until we hit a stretch of beach obscured by towering power plants that blocked any view from the street.

First he congratulated us on passing “Beach Night,” which he called a “test.” Then he spoke about our newly formed lifelong bond and the chance to open up to our new family. “This brotherhood makes me realize what life’s all about — having a group of friends who love me. We cleaned rooms in the house together, ate all of our meals together, and studied for hours together.

We stopped competing with one another and joined together 20 feet away from the water’s edge. Although fraternities are notorious for homophobia, I met a brother during rush week who alleviated the doubts my mom had placed in my head. Harder!” the pledge masters yelled. Then he presented a daunting challenge: The last person to reach the ocean some 50 yards away would be cut from the pledge class.

“On my mark...

During the first week of college, my mom, understandably protective, tried to dissuade me from rushing. I didn’t want to do those things with him, but I felt I had to,” I said. It was a chance to embrace our imperfections and let go of judgment.

When it was my turn to share, it felt right to reveal an intense trauma that I had kept hidden for years.

My desire to join a fraternity was also driven by a longing I had always felt to be included in the “boys’ club.” During adolescence, I was never part of an all-male friend group.